Tonight I Wanna Cry
by his-red-head
Summary: Tonight, he wants to cry. Tonight, she wants to say she's sorry. Tonight, what happens? Rated T, to be on the safe side.


**This is similar to a songfic I had written for Devil Wears Prada (feel free to read it). I modified it to fit Jenny and Gibbs.** **This is set about a month after Paris. ****About halfway through, it switches to Jenny's PoV. **

**Song: Tonight I Wanna Cry - Keith Urban**

**Characters: ****Gibbs and Jenny **

**Side Note: To better understand this songfic, please listen to the song first.** **Maybe grab some Kleenex, too. Just in case you are emotional and cry at almost everything (like I do). **

**Summary: ****Tonight, he wants to cry. Tonight, she wants to say she's sorry. Tonight, what happens? **

***I apologize for the re-update! Had to go back and fix some oopsies.***

**xxx**

It's been exactly one month since Jenny left me on that plane, with only a letter. I should have gone after her. Instead, I am alone in this house again tonight. Alone because I didn't go after her.

I'm in my basement. I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of bourbon in my hand, as I work on my boat.

There's pictures of Jenny and I on the walls around me. After she left, I couldn't bear to throw them away. What did I do? I hung them around the basement.

The way that it was and could- no, _should _have been surrounds me. If I would have went after Jenny and stopped her, she would be here with me. She'd be in my t-shirt, drinking with me, while I teach her how to work on the boat.

I'll never get over Jenny walkin' away. If I thought losing Shannon and Kelly was bad, this almost feels worse. Why? Because, I was going to propose to her as soon as we landed stateside; I wanted to build a life with her.

Never in my life, have I been the kind to ever let my feelings show. I've always bottled them up and shut them away. For me, crying was kind of a sign of weakness. Admittedly, I may be a tidbit too prideful to cry. Is that even a thing? Being too prideful to cry?

Growing up, I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control. I am quickly learning that, that is not the case.

Just drunk enough to let go of my pain. Well, starting to get drunk enough. I know that being drunk don't help matters none, but hey, it helps a little... I suppose.

To hell with my pride and being 'too strong'.

I feel the tears that are starting to fall from my eyes. Tonight I want to cry. Cry, and finish my bottle of bourbon.

Would it help if I turned a sad song on? Probably not. Although, "All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that Jenny is gone.

Or maybe unfold some old yellow love notes that we wrote each other?

It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better. I know that from experience.

I'll never get over her by hidin' this way. But tonight? Tonight I just want to cry.

**xxx**

I love him, and I left him. Exactly one month ago, I made the worst mistake of my life.

Knowing that I hurt him, killed me inside. But after Ducky told me how Jethro was handling it, it made me feel worse. I knew what I had to do.

I may be just a little bit drunk, but I get into my car and drive across town to his house anyway. All I can think about is him. How can I fix the mess I made?

Twenty minutes later, I arrive at his house. My stomach is in knots and I'm trying not to cry.

Slowly and quietly, I open his front door and close it behind me. I hear a song playing on the radio he keeps in his basement. However, it's not the song that catches my attention. It's the soft crying that does. I caused it and now, I need to fix it.

The sight of Jethro breaks my heart.

I walk over to him and put my hand under his chin, so he could face me.

When he sees me, his eyes go wide. "Why are you here, Jenny?"

"Because, Jethro... I love you. I've spent the last month, hating myself for leaving you on that plane, with only a letter explaining why."

"Oh."

I took a deep breath and asked, "Jethro can... can I kiss you?"

He cupped my face and brushed my tears away with his thumbs.

"Yes," he murmured, just before kissing my softly yet passionately.

A few minutes had passed before we broke for air.

"Jenny, you're forgiven."

Opening my eyes, I asked, "Why forgive me so easily?"

Jethro smirked at me. "Because, Jenny. I love you to death and... I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"What are you saying?"

He reached over to his work bench and handed me a black velvet box.

As I opened it, I gasped. It was a ring. A simple, yet elegant ring. Inscribed on the inside was, "We'll always have Paris."

I stared at the ring a minute before it dawned on me. He was proposing.

"Jenny Shepard, will you spend the rest of your life with me?"

I leaned forward and gave him a searing kiss. "Oh, my God! Yes, Jethro, I will marry you! I will spend the rest of my life with you!"

With that, he slipped the ring on my finger.

**xxx**

**For those of you who follow my fan account on Instagram (his_red_head), you know what the ring looks like.**

**I haven't a clue what this is. Apparently my muse wasn't satisfied with the one-shot of Col. Mann's thoughts on Jenny and Gibbs getting back together. Sooo... Here is another angsty little fanfic. I do hope that I did a good job on this and that you enjoyed the read!**

**Please review! xx**


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